Frank Zappa – Nanook Rubs It

Well, right about that time, people
A fur-trapper, who was strictly from commercial
Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo (peek-a-boo)
And he started into whipping on my favorite baby seal
With a lead-filled snowshoe

I said
With a lead
Filled
With a lead-filled snowshoe
He said, "Peekaboo"
With a lead
Filled
With a lead-filled snowshoe
He said, "Peekaboo"

He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
He went "whap" with a lead-filled snowshoe, and
He hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he

[Guitar Solo]

That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be
So I bent down, and I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous mitten-ful of the deadly (yellow snow)
The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go!
Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined to take the place of the mudshark in your mythology, here it goes, the circular motion

Now Rub It!

(Here Fido)

And then
In a fit of anger
I pounced
And I pounced again

Great Googly Moogly!

I jumped up and down on the chest of
I injured the fur trapper

Well he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so, because
The deadly yellow snow crystals had
Deprived him of his sight
And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said

"I can’t see"
"I can’t see"
"Oh, woe is me"
"I can’t see"

"Well… no no
I can’t see
Nothin’"

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye
And the husky wee-wee, I mean the doggie wee-wee, has blinded me
And I can’t see
Temporarily

Well, the fur-trapper stood there
With his arms outstretched across the frozen white wasteland
Trying to figure out what he’s going to do about his deflected eyes
And it was at that precise moment that he remembered an ancient Eskimo legend
Wherein it is written
On whatever it is that they write it on up there
That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook
The only way you can get it fixed up
Is to go trudging across the tundra
Mile after mile
Trudging across the tundra
Right down to the parish of St. Alphonzo

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